McDonald’s, One Night Stands, and Other Important Decisions

                When you choose something, you chose it for a reason.  When my ample stomach sets to rumbling ‘bout 9:30 in the AM, my first thought is “where is the closest McDonald’s?”  Because they make the best fast food breakfast, period.

                And once I get there, my second thought is “do I have enough cash money for two breakfast sandwiches AND a hash brown?” And if the answer is yes, then that is what I get.  Sausage egg cheese biscuit, bacon egg cheese bagel no sauce, hash brown, large water.  I choose it for a reason, and that reason is that it makes my bowels smile.

                This is pretty intuitive.  We really are creatures of habit.  We might try a variety, search a wide assortment, but eventually we find something or some collection of things we like, and stick to that.

Extrapolate a little bit.  A lot of people in college date a lot.  In fact, a lot have sex…a lot.  We call this sleeping around.  But, in most cases, that doesn’t last the rest of your life.  You better not be planning to sleep around for the rest of your life. There are hard facts to face, people: you are probably at or near the peak of your physical attractiveness, right this very year.  Some of you may have already peaked.  I know the ol’ Beefster probably did.  Now, you may be saying “but there’s more to love than just physical attraction”.  And that is true, there is.  But when all you’re looking to do is sleep around, your physical appearance is really all you have going for you.   Love really has nothing to do with one night sexcapades, at all.

So it is probably in your personal best interest, when you’re done philandering, to find somebody that you actually may care about when sober, for whom your physical appearance is secondary.  I mean, unless you’re cool with dying alone.

But believe it or not, this is not the thrust (HA!) of this essay.  What I’m trying to get at is, we make choices for a reason.  We choose who we marry for a reason.  And, equally important, we choose which college we go to for a reason.

Some of us chose our school because it was strong in the area we wanted to study.  Some chose it because it had a beautiful campus, because friends, relatives, boyfriend/girlfriend were going there.  Maybe you chose it because it was close to home, or maybe because it was the furthest from home you could afford.  Maybe you chose it because it was the only place you could afford.  The point is, you could have chosen a lot of colleges coming out of high school.  A lot of people choose no college. 

So, now that you’re here, like your school.  It is the one you chose.  Nobody made you go there.  And if somebody did make you go there (read: parents), then they’re paying for your schooling.  If they’re not paying for your schooling, you’re paying every cent, then pick up and go somewhere else.  You are at this school for a reason.

This is what has been getting under my craw, people.  Now that you’re here, be loyal.  Love your school.  If you don’t love it, you chose the wrong one.  That’s your fault, not the school’s fault. 

I can’t stand seeing people wearing other school’s stuff around campus.  Let me backtrack.  I don’t mind so much seeing an “Ohio Northern” sweatshirt here at The Ohio State University.  You know, maybe a relative goes there.  Maybe your significant other.  So be it.  Miami, Bowling Green, Toledo, Akron, Ohio, Mount Union, etc. are all pretty fair game *disclaimer: unless they are the opponent that week*. 

What is inexcusable is the garbage I see going on lately.  Arizona hats.  Georgia Tech t-shirts.  USC shorts.  This is not okay, team.  I disagree with a lot of you, about a lot of things.  With a lot of you, I probably disagree about most things.  The one thing we all have is being a Buckeye.  You chose to be a Buckeye, through thick and thin.  That means whether we’re 3-3 or 6-0, whether we beat Michigan or not, we have pride in our school.  It’s all we can have.

Because, sometimes it is very easy to be proud to attend The Ohio State University.  When we’re top 25 public schools in America, when Tressel is lifting the crystal football above his head, when Dave Chappelle comes to campus, it’s really easy.  When we’re smeared in the national media, when the team is 3-3, that’s when we find out who the real Buckeyes are.  And that should be, first and foremost, the people who chose to come here.

I’m not asking that everybody know every detail, in and out, of this campus, to know every stat about our history, to have our yearly football record down pat.  I’m not asking you to learn anything, do anything, spend anything.  I’m telling you, love this school.  You did when you decided to come here.  You chose it for a reason.  Hopefully you understood that you weren’t choosing a one night stand—you were choosing a spouse. 

This isn’t just an Ohio State thing.  No matter what school you go to…even if you’re a scUMmer, I would hope you’re proud to be so (why you chose to be is another discussion entirely).

 

One line summary: You chose this school.  Chose it for a reason.  Show some pride, or pack your bags.

 

  

the rest of the thoughts              10.31.05